How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
