So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
