Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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