She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
