That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Less talking, more tequila
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
