Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
