i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
