i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
