so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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