so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
