they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dick very happy bro
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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