It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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