I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
