Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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