Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
