she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
