In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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