I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
