Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
