So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Randomize