I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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