THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
