If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
