we have officially lost it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
