Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
