He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dicks are not precious.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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