I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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