What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
