fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
