i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
