their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
