Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
