There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
