batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
