I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
