Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He? As in you personified your dick?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
