Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize