If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
