Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
