We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
