i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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