What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize