Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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