The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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