Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is this like a preordered booty call?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
