is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
