i think i have herpe
just one?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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