Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize