So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize