For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
