He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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