so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
