We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
