I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize