We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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