just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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