i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize