I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
