You really coming over, don't trick.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
