soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
