Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you would pick up someone in the library
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Such a big mess for such a small penis
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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