I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
