so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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