Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
