and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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