just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
